Monday, September 1, 2008

This dude hates Billy Beane

Some days, I do too. Then I remember that my hometown team employs Ed Wade and I thank the baseball gods for tanking Billy's playing career.

The A's sent down Seagon and the Giants have Tim Lincecum!

There's just so much here to poke at I'll stick to the highlights.

We want to remind you of something. Gonzalez was the main piece in the Dan Haren trade, the jewel in the crown. Now the jewel languishes in Sacramento. What does this tell you about the A's ability to judge talent?

It's September. He's not "languishing" anywhere. He's learning how to take a damned pitch. You wonder why we haven't seen Travis Buck around! (Okay well, that's an inner ear problem.) Let's see who else was acquired in the Dan Haren trade, shall we?
  • Greg Smith (LHP)
  • Dana Eveland (LHP)
  • Brett Anderson (LHP)
  • Chris Carter (IF)
  • Aaron Cunningham (OF)
Gonzalez not panning out at the age of TWENTY-TWO doesn't exactly mean Beane can't judge talent. That's just ridiculous. Is this guy serious?

We direct our remarks to A's fans who should be disgusted with the A's -- an organization that can't get it right but pretends it knows what it's doing. We direct our remarks to our loyal fans at, who mindlessly worship Billy Beane as if Beane is the crown prince of baseball. Wake up. This Gonzalez mess should make you reconsider your position as lifelong Beanophiles. Wise up. Please join a 12-step program to overcome your Beane addiction. Please.

Well, last time I checked the A's had been to the post-season a lot in the last half-dozen years. Yeah, this year the team sucks. We got our hopes up when all the kids decided to play wayyyy above their heads in April and May. Then they came back down to earth and we saw the "rebuilding" team Billy put together to play out the games between now and when all the crazy-good kids in the minors are ready to come up.

Also, this Gonzalez situation is not a mess. It's the franchise not being afraid to demote a player who needs to learn how to take a few pitches.

I'm already in a 12-step program to learn how to deal with heartbreak induced by a Beane trade. I'm doing quite well, thank you, and as a result I follow a half-dozen teams. That makes me a better baseball fan than you, Cohn! Hah.

There's more. The A's want you to believe they're "building" in a brilliant and rational manner. Really? We here at the Zohn wonder who plays in the infield in 2009 when the team is supposed to be reconstituted and good. The A's need a first baseman. They need a second baseman because we don't believe Mark Ellis gets invited back next season. The A's need a shortstop unless you believe Bobby Crosby is the answer -- at best, he's a middle-of-the-pack kind of guy, certainly no Miguel Tejada. The A's need a third baseman. That's how bad things are, and we haven't even gotten to the outfield yet.

I've been looking a little further down the line at 2010, but I think the 2009 team could make a run at it. I mean, we DO have a crapload of young talent hanging out in Sac and Midland, it's not like we're going to trade them away for Tejada or some crazy thing like that. They'll be here.

Also, I do believe Bobby Crosby is the answer. I'm one of those people. (It's probably not logical, but hey, Cohn's setting the rules here and he has cleary thrown logic out the window.)

Like the A's, the Giants are a crummy team. No one at the Zohn disputes that. But the Giants have one thing the A's don't. The Giants have Tim Lincecum .... The A's provide a boring unwatchable team. The A's don't care about thrilling their fans. They say the thrill will come some time in Fremont, if Fremont ever really happens.

I like how he says the Giants have ONE thing the A's don't, that being Tim Lincecum. (Who's actually not a thing. But whatever.) They've also got, I dunno, Matt Cain, Barry Zito (while he's not so hot at pitching, he makes a damn good jeans model), and ... Fred Lewis? Actually, they have a whole TEAM that the A's don't have, and neither does any other team out there.

I do like Tim Lincecum. In fact, I am wearing a Tim Lincecum shirt right now, the same one I wore when he got knee-capped by an Astros batter, sending his team to be four-game-swept by Houston.

I actually kind of enjoy watching the A's. There's Huston Street who will always blow a lead (except when he's healthy), there's Brad Ziegler who didn't give up a run of his own for a helluva long time, there's Greg Smith who when he walks a guy will promptly pick him off first, even if he's not even leading off. Those are a couple "things" I enjoy watching when the A's are on. Oh, and Ryan "Man child" Sweeney is certainly entertaining.

Unless Beane impregnated your daughter, there's no reason to hate him this much. Furthermore, what have the A's done to you, Cohn?

Oh that's right. 1989. Sorry for bringing that up.

1 comment:

Goose said...

They seem to have the weird ability to bash Beane while also painting a less than stellar picture of the Giants.