Matt Grevers is from "Chicago"

So Jay Mariotti has to write about him.

My roommate moved in yesterday, bringing with her the print version of this little gem from her local paper. We then ripped it to shreds, the swimming aficionados that we are.

The gold medal will be his forever, even if few remember. By twist of fate, coaching decisions and Michael Phelps' need to rest, Matt Grevers became the fifth Beatle -- anyone recall Pete Best? -- in The Relay Race Of Our Dreams.

Well. I think mostly it was a coaching decision. Cullen Jones got to swim in the final because he swam a faster prelim. The coaches said that was how they'd make their relay line-up for the final. Had Matt swum faster than Cullen, he would have swum the final. As it happened, Matt swam a 47.7 and Cullen a 47.61.

Furthermore, what about Nathan Adrian, who swam lead-off on the first relay? Or Ben Wildman-Tobriner, the third leg? Without them, Phelps, Weber-Gale, Jones, and Lezak wouldn't have been in the position to win the gold. Every single man who competes in the prelim is just as much to credit for the result.

He filled in for Phelps and helped craft a blazing world record in the 400-meter freestyle relay semifinal, then dutifully sat in the stands when Phelps returned for the final.

Well, if we want to get technical about it, Nathan Adrian filled in for Phelps. Matt was filling in for Lezak as the anchor.

So when Jason Lezak bailed out Phelps with the aquatic version of a police car taking down a fugitive in a high-speed chase, guess who benefited without getting his hair wet?

Whoa. Phelps set an AMERICAN RECORD in the lead-off leg of the relay -- a record formerly held by Lezak. Grevers benefitted because he dove into the pool and touched the wall in world record time hours before -- undoubtedly getting his hair wet.

Also, are we now calling the French "fugitives"?

To his everlasting credit, he wasn't the least bit bothered when U.S. coach Eddie Reese chose Cullen Jones for what became a historic quartet. "We get some dice and throw 'em up against the wall," Reese said of his tough call.

I wonder if Mr. Mariotti bothered to listen to Rowdy Gaines during the talks about this relay. Why was it so difficult to say who'd make the final? Because any of the guys could have swum fast enough to do it. No other country has this kind of sprinting depth, which is amazing to say now when you keep in mind where we were four years ago. Reese didn't actually throw dice up against the wall. He looked at the final splits, saw that Cullen Jones had swum faster than Matt Grevers, and filled out his line-up card accordingly.

Now, he had the opportunity to win gold directly, not in absentia.

Well, I actually saw Matt swim the race, so I'm pretty sure he was present for it.

Now, he could add to his medal haul without anyone else's help.

No one can win a relay medal without anyone else's help. Not even Michael Phelps.

Now, the fifth Beatle could record his own hit record.

Or the sixth. Or, you know, seventh. Again with the blatant ignoring of the other two gold medal-winners. Long live Nathan Adrian and Ben Wildman-Tobriner for their world record-setting swims!

As family and friends watched at the ESPN Zone in Chicago, where more than 600 were invited via e-mail and Facebook.

As they watched ... what? What happened? Where's the main clause? How'd this get past the copy editor?

Maybe it came down to Peirsol wearing the celebrated Speedo LZR Racing trunks, which have trimmed times for Phelps and others amid much debate, while Grevers was wearing TYR Tracer Rise.

Or maybe Peirsol is just ... better? And the suit had nothing to do with it?

The following is a phrase that is in the print version (if someone calls BS I'll take the trouble of scanning it) that didn't make it to the online version, but it's good for a laugh or two, I think. It immediately follows the sentence quoted above: Being with TYR did get him a 60-foot billboard during the U.S. Olympic trials, with the billboard to be showcased at a pool in the north suburbs.

One, that's a terrible way to start a sentence. Two, Aaron Peirsol is sponsored by Nike, yet he's wearing a LZR. Speedo gave every swimmer at Trials a LZR suit. Maybe Matt just didn't like it. That happens. He wasn't at a disadvantage because he wasn't wearing a LZR. The suit had nothing to do with it. It was probably the lack of shoulder strength that Matt has compared to Aaron, mentioned later on in the article.

Swimsuit politics aside, the gold-silver perfecta, with possibly more to come in relay events, culminates Grevers' coming-out party at the Water Cube complex.

The only people making a big deal about the new suits are people who know nothing about the sport. Ask a swimmer and he or she will tell you that you won't get the record without the training. The suit cannot be substituted for thousands of hours chasing the black line.

Or I guess it could have been the suit that made up the .57 second difference. That's more than half a second! No one in their right mind would say that a suit, even the LZR, is going to make a half a second difference in a swimmer's performance. That's ludicrous.

He belongs to Chicago and America, but for a fleeting moment a few years ago, Grevers easily could have been one of these quasi-Olympians who compete for another country simply because family blood allows.

No one is a quasi-Olympian. You either are or you aren't. Other countries have different rules. Some athletes train their whole lives for an Olympics and don't make it because the two best swimmers in the world in their event happen to be from the United States. To compete on the highest level is the dream of many athletes and I, an athlete myself, cannot fault them for wanting to fulfill that dream.

Becky Hammon, the U.S. basketball player from South Dakota, doesn't have a smidgen of Russian in her DNA yet she's playing for Vladimir Putin's Olympic roster -- with a possible $150,000 waiting in gold-medal booty -- because she couldn't make the U.S. team. Others have taken advantage of dubious famly-tree links, such as NBA player Chris Kamen, who grew up in Michigan but is playing for Germany because -- ready? -- his great-grandparents hailed from there. My great-grandparents are from Italy, so does that mean I can compete on the Italian air-pistol team?

If you could make the Italian air-pistol team, yeah. I doubt it, though. Well, I don't actually know Italy's requirements. They may be stricter than Germany. Oh wait, the print version says "fencing." Either way, you can't compete if you don't make the team. If you make the Olympic team you are an Olympian. There's no "quasi" about it.

Is Oksana Chusovitina a quasi-Olympian because instead of competing for her native Uzbekistan she won a medal for Germany in women's artistic gymnastics?

Let the athletes play their sports and let the politicians get into the political aspects of it. There's no reason to bring down athletes for their desire to play in the Olympics.

Back to the swimming.

Any doubts about Phelps' stamina and insanely ambitious Beijing workload were temporarily silenced. After struggling in the first leg of the 400 free relay and putting his team in a hole, he kept alive his eight-golds-in-eight-days hopes by crushing his world record in the 200 free. It reinforced the idea that the only way he can fail in his quest is via a relay. Three down, five to go.

Phelps was "struggling" in the first leg of the 400 free relay, even though he swam the fastest 100 free ever swum by an American ever. Ever. It wasn't that far off the world record, either. Yeah, that's "struggling." Or it's just a guy talking about a sport he watches maybe once every four years and not even then because a lot of these inaccuracies could have been avoided by listening to four minutes of Rowdy Gaines. Or even Dan Hicks. Or, hell, listening to the swimmers themselves. OR EVEN reading the quotes that he chose to use in his article!

Oh, and it was eight golds in nine days.

Not that Phelps was anything but imperfect with his slow first leg. "After the first 50, I don't know if I was shock or what," he said. "It wasn't really what I had thought about. That's just shows you never can say anything is impossible. To be a body length behind with 50 to go and come back to win shows anything can happen."

Does anyone else enjoy how Mariotti called Phelps slow after posting the fastest time swum by an American ever? And then quotes Phelps talking about Lezak's insane swim, making it look like Phelps is talking about himself? So, the positioning of the quote is not only misleading, it's also kind of insulting to Lezak.

Phelps and Grevers have become friends, part of a close-knit pack of Americans who knew they're all part of Phelps' dream. But on this day, Grevers ventured out from the seats and won his own medal. He got his hair wet this time.

Well, Grevers knows how relays work at big meets. You get your B-team to swim the prelims if they're fast enough to qualify in the top eight. Our B-team just happened to break the world record. Then you get your A-team to swim the final for the gold -- which goes to every swimmer who participated in the race.

In fact, let me take you back to 4x100 medley relay final of 2004. Phelps came away from that Olympics with 2 bronzes and 6 golds -- one of those being from that last relay. But Michael didn't swim the fly in the final. He didn't even swim the freestyle, or the backstroke, or the breaststroke. He swam in the prelims, won the 100m fly by .04 seconds, and ceded his spot to silver-medallist Ian Crocker so that his teammate could win a gold as well.

Phelps got his hair wet in 2004 for that gold medal, and Grevers wetted his own in 2008. What a back-handed way to compliment a guy. He broke a world record and won a gold medal, but because he didn't compete in the final, that gold is somehow less Matt's than his individual silver? He was sitting in the stands and got handed a medal he didn't earn? What?

Stay out of the pool, Mariotti, and stick to what you know.

Everyone and Their Mothers May Have Been Right

So sayeth ESPN.

Or, at least, the IOC thinks there's enough of a possiblity they're looking in to it further. They're still playing dipolmatic.

"We believe the matter will be put to rest and there's no question ... on the eligibility," [IOC spokeswoman Giselle] Davies said. "The information we have received seems satisfactory in terms of the correct documentation -- including birth certificates."

Not much to expand on this, we all sort've saw it coming. While Bela Karolyi's tirade may have been a bit misplaced on air, he did say what we all assumed (I think, still not sure he wasn't talking about donut recipes). I think the question was just whether or not the IOC would do anything about it and risk pissing China off.

The Art of Innuendo

At times, a sport or particular situations in sports can make it too easy for the amateur comic *points to self* or not so careful sportswriter to get a quick laugh. This is even more apparent when the joke is unintentional and, most importantly, involves something "blush worthy".

To wit, taken from an article about the women's pole vault battle between Jenn Stuczynski and Yelena Isinbayeva

Big poles and big mouths don’t go together.

*swing* *crack* Hanging pitches go a long way, don't they?

Of course, such humor depends on your state of mind and presentation.

And then there was one and he had eight.

All week I've been making fun of a 12-year-old girl for wanting to marry Michael Phelps. Then this happened:

Congratulations, Michael. Speedo's giving you a million bucks and you have your pick of underaged girls. Make wise decisions (no more DUIs!) and just keep swimming.

He's certainly the greatest swimmer of all time (he locked that up in Athens as far as I'm concerned), greatest Olympian of all time, and by the time he retires I'll wager he'll be considered the greatest athlete of all time.

I am proud to be an American.

Christmas in. . . August?

This maybe doesn't deserve its own post, but I'm hoping someone out there can help me.

I'm up late watching a re-air of the US vs. the Netherlands in baseball. In the top of the third, a Netherlands player fails on a pop fly in foul territory (in such a way that helps me understand why this is the last time Baseball will be in the Olympics). After he drops it, the stadium starts loudly playing. . . Jingle Bells?!

Why? Can someone out there help me with this? And it wasn't a quick tune, either, it was the whole song. And it was loud and clear, definitely Jingle Bells. Please? Anyone?


Also, watching this game reminds me of what it was like to watch Expos games. There's no one in the stands, so you can litterally hear individual conversations and hecklers. There's some guy who's louder than the announcers who still thinks it's cool to say "no batta no batta no batta SWING!"

. . . maybe I won't miss Olympic baseball. . .

Spain's Olympic Basketball Team Fouls Out with Ad

From The Guardian

"Spain's Olympic basketball teams have risked upsetting their Chinese hosts by posing for a pre-Games advert making slit-eyed gestures. The advert for a courier company, which is an official sponsor of the Spanish Basketball Federation, occupied a full page in the sports daily Marca, the country's best-selling newspaper."

As a kid, I remember this thing some of the other students used to do where they would do the same gesture as a way to tell the difference between the Japanese and Chinese. Though I didn't know about stereotypes or political correctness at the time, I had a feeling that it was pretty pointless and dumb.

Congratulations! You have now confirmed my elementary school hunch.

More from Chef Karolyi

Wow I am writing things on this web log a lot lately. I should coin a verb for it.

We here at And That Happened are not so much here to report the sports stories of the day to you as we are to cover the people who report those sports stories of the day. Maybe that makes us pathetic, but I enjoy it because I don't have to stand in a sweaty locker room trying to talk to someone in a bad mood hoping he'll say something your editor likes (I've done it, it's not fun).

I mentioned in a previous post, I've become quickly enamored with Bela Karolyi's very unique presence in the NBC olympics booth next to (my hero) Bob Costas.

I also mentioned I couldn't understand a word he was saying, and was unsure of whether he was discussing vaulting form or how to make donuts. Apparently what was being said was far more entertaining.

According to Tampa Bay Online*:

"These people think we are stupid," Karolyi said. "We are in the business of gymnastics. We know what a kid of 14 or 15 or 16 looks like. What kind of slap in the face is this? They are 12, 14 years old and they get lined up and the government backs them and the federation runs away. There is an age limit and it can't be controlled."

The Washington Post also has some nifty quotes:

"They are obviously kids -- 12 or 14 [years old], max -- and you're telling the world they are 16? What arrogance!"

"The passport is made by the Chinese government," Karolyi said. "They can do any kind of documents."

As mentioned, we cover the people who cover the news, not the news itself. I'm sure you've heard speculation of the Chinese gymnasts' ages not being up to snuff, but Karolyi's vehement, biased and insulting statements of fact that the host country of the Olympics are pulling one over on the rest of the world is taking it to another level. Of course, Bela knows how communist countries operate, and also knows what a 14-year-old Gold Medal gymnast looks like, but this is still rubbing a lot of people the wrong way (notably poor co-anchor Bob Costas, doing a full-on Mike Myers).

Me? This sort of outrage makes me love Mr. Karolyi even more. Bring him in for Sunday Night Baseball in place of Joe Morgan. AND Jon Miller! There's nothing better than a studio analyst saying crazy things that make everyone around him so uncomfortable they feel their own jobs might be in jeopardy (yes, I miss Rush Limbaugh on ESPN). Unless, of course, they can't be certain if said studio analyst just said something that should make them uncomfortable because they can't understand what he said in the first place.

And I'm certainly not making fun of him or saying there's anything wrong with that. It just makes him more awesome, even if he is known for bringing up young female gymnasts with the same loving care and patience shown by a guard when bringing up a POW in a concentration camp. Are you not picturing how epic this would be, people?

I can't wait until I get that petition started and Karolyi is greating me every Sunday night before I have to listen to John Madden.


(Note: This author does not know nearly as much about gymnastics as he pretends to.)


*I feel the urge to top this by finding even more random and obscure sources in the future. I dare the rest of you ATH writers to try and out-do me.

Bela Karolyi for Football Night in America

This man has just become my single favorite studio analyst. Ever. Easily.

He's just so excited about everything, and I can't understand a word he's saying. And I love it. His exchanges go something like this. . .

Bob Costas: Well, Bela, you saw the US floor routine. What do you think their chances of winning the gold are?

Bela Karolyi:



NBC seriously needs to use Karolyi as their analyst for every event. You say all he knows about is gymnastics? Screw that, that would only make it more entertaining to hear his thoughts on Saber or Handball.

Or Luge. Yes, bring him out in the winter, as well. (Also, Street Luge should be a summer event in the Olympics!)

In fact, NBC has a darn good football show on Sunday nights. Pair him back together with Bob Costas and let him loose on football. No need to educate him on the sport. We won't know what he's saying, anyway. Just let him watch, and then let us listen to what he has to say!

I'm getting on this now! Someone help me start a petition!

Olympic coverage often makes me go "huh?"

Does anyone here watch the olympics to hear a former tennis player explain Pandas to us and why, if you go to China, that's the most important site to see?

Anyone?

Team USA Basketball Unwinds Together

In one of China's most famous brothel. Fun time!

At least there's a good chance this means LeBron, D-Wade and Melo will be loose, happy and, presumably, at the top of their game!

Sure this is an old story that's already been covered and you've all heard by now, but it needs its own story. Why? Because I love Babel Fish translations, that's why!

The story, after the picture serving as a jump.



Special correspondent pulls the Macao report dream eight giant stars certainly not to understand Hong Kong dog young team fierce, when on Wednesday before dawn James, Wedd and Antony go out their castle - - - Venice person hotel time, they already had fallen into the handkerchief para neat (dog young team) lens. A Hong Kong newspaper entire journey has recorded three giant star Macao nightwalking process. 　　

The American men's basketball team Monday flies to Macao from Las Vegas, has flown Asia's entertainment heaven from US's entertainment heaven, but in the arrival same day, already threw into the training in the Venice person hotel's golden light synthesis skill hall, on Tuesday and Wednesday these two days similarly have also arranged the daily three hour trainings. The castle Venice person hotel, may let the dream eight giant stars avoid all attention, completes the training and the food and lodging line: The ball hall is the seal, the station is also the relative seal. However stuffy two days later, the jorums could not bear finally must come out to introduce to visit the skylight. 　　

On Wednesday before dawn 0.30 points, James, Wedd and Antony under a staff's accompaniment, the step “the deep palace” goes to Macao named “hits the command” “the golden fish bowl” the type sauna recreation center. They ride the hotel arrangement private car, goes to nearby the wharf the recreation area, what is worth mentioning, three jorums travel light, not special security measure. It is reported that “hits the command” the sauna recreation center massage to serve about 90 minute 1500 Australian coins, three giant stars in “hit the command” the choice all are Vietnam Ji Nv the technician, is it is said best in Macao Vietnam technician's massage technology, and most receives welcome. Hong Kong dog young team also specially interviewed is the female technician who afterward the NBA giant star provides the service, three female technicians before starting the work, already had understood James et al. the statuses, because also more than once serves before this for the celebrity, therefore they had not demonstrated special surprised, indicated but actually, three great people only gave 200 Australian coins to take the tip, was is really not naturally. 　　

About two hours later, the James and the party of people return to the hotel, this time already was Wednesday past 2:00 am. It is reported that two years ago in prepared for the Japanese international championship time, James, Antony and the Wedd three people also once in warm-up match Hong Kong every night the music and song, they once two late appeared in intermediate belt Volar as well as celebrity foothold Drag-on-i all night the revelry, and attained seals “the travel fatigue three variants”. Perhaps is precisely therefore, three people appear once again in Macao's time, attracts Hong Kong dog young team next to the skin to press hard on immediately. US team's some once indicated with team reporter that the Macao weather burning hot humidity is very big, the player too will not go out to go sightseeing, did not think that these star player will come out using at night to move. However, compares the travel fatigue three variants, the dog young “waits for” does not have too many harvests on the kopeck body, these two day of kopeck's recreational activity, is feeds the beefsteak greatly under staff's accompaniment between beefsteak hall in a Venice person hotel. Some fans hear a rumor come, the kopeck has not let the fan feel disappointed. After finishing eating the food, the kopeck returns to the hotel rest at once, has not appeared again except the training in public's field of vision, relative “travel fatigue three variants”, the kopeck is described naturally the US team “the life model leader”. 　　

Sina sports own manuscript stated: This work (writing, picture, graph and sound video frequency) supply Sina to use especially, without authorization, any media and individual do not completely or the part reprint.

Well. . . that was "exciting."

At this point in time, I'm unsure of how many readers we have. Probably about two, including those of us who write for this blog. But for you imaginary readers too young to remember, the Dream Team was an awesome thing. I was just old enough then to appreciate the awesomeness of an all-MJ backcourt ripping through the rest of the world and staking dominant claim to playing the best basketball in the world.

Perhaps coincidently and perhaps not, as our international performance has waned so has my interest in the NBA. Where once I was a passionate Lakers fan (bandwagon, I admit), now the Association is just where my favorite college players go to die.

So I've barely been interested in this year's Redeem Team. This morning, I woke up and turned on the Rangers game (I think I'm safe from being a bandwagon fan here), unaware the re-air of the US's domination of China was going on. Suddenly, I flipped over and found LeBron James nuking the giant Chinese front court in a game that appeared to be roughly eleventy billion to negative three.

My thoughts on our Olympic basketball team then became something like this:




These guys seem to be ready to be together as a team ready to squash all comers. No one can expect '92 again, but maybe '96? Maybe? We haven't had the moments of comaraderie the old Dream Team did yet, but this could be something to be excited about and get behind again. Something this child of the 90s hasn't had in international basketball in a long time.


Of course, shortly after I was thinking about that, this whole brothel thing came up. . .


I guess that's comrarderie. Maybe.

I ... don't know how to sing to that.

Michael Phelps won the 400IM on Day One of the XXIXth Olympiad. Yeah, that's right, the Olympics are happening again and Phelps is smashing more world records. Who's surprised?

I was hoping I'd get to recite my favorite quote ("America goes one-two yet again!"), but Lochte fails at life (not really) and got third, letting that bald Hungarian dude improve upon his bronze in 2004.

Whatever, there's still two Americans on the medal stand and Phelps is chatting with Lochte through the entire ceremony, smiling that goofy smile and making me really nervous, being someone who wants things to go exactly right and with the utmost decorum during such important moments as these.

Finally everyone's all settled and Lochte and Phelps get their hands over their hearts and then ... the Star-Spangled Banner is playing, but ... part of the beginning is cut off? And then they add another verse in there? And then right when we're all ready to sing, "...and the hooooooooome of theeeeeeeeee BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!" it CUTS OFF. Phelps laughs a little, but I see that bafflement in your eyes, kid! I see it!

Normally, I'm talking all through the primetime coverage. I say what the commentators say before they say it, I tell whoever's watching with me about Roman Sludnov breaking a minute in the 100 breast before anyone else, I comment on Sasha Artemev's lines before Elfi opens her big mouth, but quoting Elfi from 4 years ago during Hiroyuki Tomita's stunning high bar routine? "I'm speechless." Except back then, it was because she'd never seen anything so good.

Right now, it's because I've never heard anything so ... wrong. It's the Olympics. Those kind of mistakes shouldn't be happening.

So while the rest of the world is marveling over how AMAZING Beijing has done so far, I will continue to point out and tally everything they're doing wrong. I'm also counting how many times Elfi mentions Sasha's "lines," but that's another story for another time.