Tools to Victory: Game 4 Edition

New spokesperson for Home Depot? I think so. I'd lock this guy up with an endorsement deal for life, brah! Especially with all the brain knowledge he be spittin' out about these victory tools. Case in point:

Yankees

Offensive support for C.C.

Phillies

Blanton, not Lee... We'll see.

Translation: the Yankees need to score runs to win and the Phillies need to... see if Blanton will be better than Lee? See if Blanton will actually be pitching and not Lee? They need to see...... something. I give up. I have no clue how "Blanton, not Lee... we'll see" qualifies for any type of advice or tools for victory. McCarver has entered a new realm of stupidity here, folks. I'm pretty sure he lacks some type of mental capacity.

These "tools" leave the door wide open for what we can expect for the rest of the series.

"Score runs for Lee"

"Francisco, not Stairs... risky affairs"

"Look out for A-Rod!"

"Dynasty? It may be too soon... we'll see"

"Release your inner Phillie Phanatic"

"Jump ahead, stay ahead"

"Win or go home"

I am 83% sure that that last one will be an actual one for the Phillies in game five........... we.will.see.

Does It Get Any Better Than This?

Steve Phillips is now a part of the "Sunday Night Baseball" broadcast team, alongside Joe Morgan and Jon Miller. This, without a doubt, is the best news of the young season. I've watched half an inning of the Cubs/Phillies game and already we have a gem from our good friend, Joey M. (I like to rhyme). For a few minutes, Joe went on about how the Cubs manager, Lou Piniella, splits up his righties and lefties in the batting order and how it isn't smart to give your best hitter, Aramis Ramirez (presumably), fewer at-bats because it really doesn't make much of a difference to have consecutive righties or lefties. Okay, sounds reasonable enough, right? Ah, but wait, this is Mr. Morgan we're talking about, we should know by now that he just can't leave it at that. So he proceeds to say this:

**Paraphrase**
"You see, in Philadelphia their three best hitters--Rollins, Utley, and Howard-- are left-handed, but they bat them all in a row. That's the difference between Manuel (Phillies Manager) and Lou."

He goes on to cite this quite a few times as he chastises Piniella for batting Ramirez fifth in the lineup as opposed to having his best hitters in their deserving spots regardless of whether they bat right or left. There's only one thing wrong with this comparison that Joe keeps pointing to: THE PHILLIES HAVE NOT ONCE HAD A ROLLINS/UTLEY/HOWARD BATTING ORDER THIS SEASON. In fact, the only time Manuel did that during the entire '08 season was that strange two week stretch where he had Utley batting second, followed by Rollins and Howard (not a horrible idea, btw, just strange in the sense that he never did it again).

I don't understand how Joe Morgan can consistently be allowed to consistently say stupid shit on a consistent basis despite his consistent idiotic remarks week in and week out.

Yes, it's now been nearly five months since FJM disbanded, and I am sad.