The Epic Baseball Week: Day One

The plan for my week in Texas before I head back off to school: seven baseball games in seven days. Game One? Complete. Astros beat the Giants 3-1 and I sat in bullpen seats.

All the better for observing Hunter Pence's awesome uniform adjustments. When Pence got called up last season it was brought to my attention that he never stops touching himself. I thought this had to be an exaggeration.

During the top of the 4th inning, my friend Jessica counted how many times he adjusted his uniform per at bat. The counts are as following:
21, 48, and 28. That is a total of NINETY-SEVEN TIMES IN ONE INNING. And it was only a three at-bat inning! That's it!

edit:

Extreme Hyperbole Alert

Chris Berman just now on the Monday Night Football half-time show:

"We thought the Green Bay Packers could never go on without Brett Favre. A lot of people thought that was the case."

This was said completely seriously without a hint of being a joke or intentionally over-the-top. I know it's Berman, so I shouldn't be shocked, but this is just SO ridiculous I am.

I mean, really, I guess maybe I was the crazy one for not thinking this 753 year-old franchise with 1,582 championships and 52,000 (rounded) Hall of Famers and a fan base stretching from the North Pole to the Former Planet Pluto would just have to disband without BRETT FAVRE, but I don't think so. Nevermind the fact that if that were true, would HALF of a PRE SEASON game be enough to conclude it's not?

Seriously. Gag me. Or kill me. Both of those seem easier than changing the channel away from ESPN, something I'm strangely unable to do.

And... What Happened?

In 1999, an award was finally established in order to recognize the best offensive player in baseball. Fittingly, it was named after one of the game's great hitters, Hank Aaron. It's nice to have an award with such simple guidelines. There's no confusion over what "valuable" means and how much of a role the team's success should play into consideration. Nope. It's simply an award that goes to the best offensive player in each league.

Now, it would seem that only a limited amount of research would have to take place to determine such a recipient, right? Right. Let's take a look at how some of the cases have turned out thus far.

1999 (N.L.)
Winner- Sammy Sosa
Best Offensive Player- Mark McGwire
Many others were much, much more deserving than Sosa, but it really puzzles me how McGwire especially was not chosen. He led Sosa in the following categories: HR, RBI, R, OBP, SLG, OPS+, RC, RC/G, OWP, BtRns, BtWin, and EQA. Even to someone not accustomed to more advanced offensive statistics should easily be able to tell that McGwire had the superior offensive season. Seriously, what were the voters' justifications? Batting Average?

2001 (A.L.)
Winner- Alex Rodriguez
Best Offensive Player- Jason Giambi
People got too caught up in the high HR and RBI total. Giambi clearly had the superior offensive season. It wasn't even close.

2002 (A.L.)
Winner- Alex Rodriguez
Best Offensive Player- Jim Thome
See Above.

2003 (A.L.)
Winner- Alex Rodriguez
Best Offensive Player- Carlos Delgado
This one wasn't quite as bad as some of the others, but Delgado led handily enough in a number of categories for it to be pretty obvious that he was the most deserving candidate.

2003 (N.L.)
Winner- Albert Pujols
Best Offensive Player- Barry Bonds
Barry Bonds had a 231 OPS+, Pujols was at 187. That pretty much sums it up right there, doesn't it? There is no way that Bonds should have lost this award even once from 2000-2004. Also, since 1958, nobody not named Barry Bonds has put up an Adjusted OPS over 230. Although apparently it still wasn't good enough for the Hank Aaron Award.

2005 (A.L.)
Winner- David Ortiz
Best Offensive Player- Alex Rodriguez
I guess things have a way of evening themselves out-- at least partially. There's still a little ways to go for justice to have been entirely served, seeing as Rodriguez has won the award (undeservedly) three times. Ortiz had no business winning this award over A-Rod, though, who was clearly better in every offensive facet of the game.

2005 (N.L.)
Winner- Andruw Jones
Best Offensive Player- Derrek Lee
They should just call this the HR/RBI title award. Apparently nothing else is required. Besides those two categories, Jones didn't even finish in the top five of any statistic except extra base hits, in which he trailed Lee by 21.

2006 (A.L.)
Winner- Derek Jeter
Best Offensive Player- Travis Hafner
The voters went outside their usual way of thinking and picked a player who led absolutely zero major offensive categories. He had a good offensive season, don't get me wrong, but it was nothing compared to that of Hafner. You could also make very strong cases that Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, and Jim Thome were significantly more deserving as well. This is pretty much the benchmark for just how poor the voting system for this award is put together.

These are just the most obvious, ridiculous ones. If you want to get real technical about it, the most deserving candidates have probably won about 6 out of the 18 times the award has been handed out, with 3 of them being real obvious, amazing Barry Bonds seasons. The voting process is in shambles (broadcasters and analysts currently make up 70% of the vote). If the MLB is going to hand out an award for the best offensive season (which I think is a pretty high and important honor), they should do it right and find a respectable way to go about it. Otherwise, get rid of it altogether. I'm sure the Hammer is already plenty embarrassed.

Sunday Night Baseball Live Blog Cardinals-Cubs

Welcome to this NL Central match up and not to mention my first post on this blog. I'll be keeping track of some of the nuances of this game as well as some of ESPN's "analysis", good and bad. My fellow authors will join in the fun as well.

-Who would have guessed Joe wasn't big on stats?

-I can give ESPN credit for this: they have better scouting reports than the YES Network.

-As much as I think that strikeouts aren't the big evil some people think it to be, it's amazing he's so productive and can work plenty of walks yet not have the high strikeout totals of most others with high walk totals.

-This may just be me but having a microphone on the bases just doesn't add to my enjoyment of the game.

-There's the obligatory "the Molina brothers can't run" mention. Always helpful. :)

-What a jump by Kennedy.

-"Scouting reports tell you a lot about the pitcher." Isn't that the point of a scouting report?

-Woot, gas money from Jon and Joe!

-Here comes the future HoMer (Hall of Merit-er) Jim Edmonds. He crushed the ball all the way to deep center. To be serious, check out his rate stats. He's been very good.

-Not since Ron Santo's victory heel click or Sammy Sosa's home run hop has leg work been a bigger deal.

-Can those montages be any more melodramatic?

-Oh yes, "the club". That is another whole post altogether. Maybe later. ;)

-"Banzai!" *laughs at Jon Miller's momentary awkward silence after that comment*

-Very nice catch by Edmonds. HoMer!

-Speaking of nice plays, no wonder Glaus has shown so well defensively in stats detailing range.

-They've been pitching away to Pujols all night. I don't see what is so special about this situation that they decide to change from a plan that they haven't really deviated from in the first place. (before you say anything: yes, broadcasting is harder than it looks. I tried a mock broadcast at the Fan Fest this year and I certainly botched it badly. Having said that, I'm not a professional.)

-Dempster is sure working that "slidepiece" to great effect.

-Jon, Joe: please don't try to talk racing. You'll just embarrass yourselves. Then again, ESPN is not the source for great racing analysis of any kind.

-Soriano on the first pitch (career, before tonight): .405/.416/.755 in 610 PA with 46 HR. I would say that's not bad at all.

-There's the Joe Morgan staple: belabor a point regardless of how right or wrong he may be. A perfect example would be the discussion of a disputed HR call during the Mets-Yankees Sunday Night game earlier this year.

-Villone: the designated well-traveled lefty. Let's hope that Carpenter is alright.

-Kennedy channels his inner Leon Durham (oh great, now I'm doing it, too).

-Shuffles must love the 5-run inning his team got just now.

-Trying to steal a base down six? I never thought that to be great strategy.

-I'm a bit surprised they didn't start playing the Notre Dame fight song. Maybe I'm thinking about FOX.

-It's strange watching Wilbon speak to someone without Kornheiser yelling back.

-It should not be that surprising Red Sox fans are about in an away series. You know better, Jon.

-I don't know what is worse: listening to bad analysis (not specific to this game) or listening to one's mother singing an Isaac Hayes (RIP) song off key.

Cubs win 6-2.

FanGraphs plot: Plots 'R Us

Team USA Basketball Unwinds Together

In one of China's most famous brothel. Fun time!

At least there's a good chance this means LeBron, D-Wade and Melo will be loose, happy and, presumably, at the top of their game!

Sure this is an old story that's already been covered and you've all heard by now, but it needs its own story. Why? Because I love Babel Fish translations, that's why!

The story, after the picture serving as a jump.



Special correspondent pulls the Macao report dream eight giant stars certainly not to understand Hong Kong dog young team fierce, when on Wednesday before dawn James, Wedd and Antony go out their castle - - - Venice person hotel time, they already had fallen into the handkerchief para neat (dog young team) lens. A Hong Kong newspaper entire journey has recorded three giant star Macao nightwalking process. 　　

The American men's basketball team Monday flies to Macao from Las Vegas, has flown Asia's entertainment heaven from US's entertainment heaven, but in the arrival same day, already threw into the training in the Venice person hotel's golden light synthesis skill hall, on Tuesday and Wednesday these two days similarly have also arranged the daily three hour trainings. The castle Venice person hotel, may let the dream eight giant stars avoid all attention, completes the training and the food and lodging line: The ball hall is the seal, the station is also the relative seal. However stuffy two days later, the jorums could not bear finally must come out to introduce to visit the skylight. 　　

On Wednesday before dawn 0.30 points, James, Wedd and Antony under a staff's accompaniment, the step “the deep palace” goes to Macao named “hits the command” “the golden fish bowl” the type sauna recreation center. They ride the hotel arrangement private car, goes to nearby the wharf the recreation area, what is worth mentioning, three jorums travel light, not special security measure. It is reported that “hits the command” the sauna recreation center massage to serve about 90 minute 1500 Australian coins, three giant stars in “hit the command” the choice all are Vietnam Ji Nv the technician, is it is said best in Macao Vietnam technician's massage technology, and most receives welcome. Hong Kong dog young team also specially interviewed is the female technician who afterward the NBA giant star provides the service, three female technicians before starting the work, already had understood James et al. the statuses, because also more than once serves before this for the celebrity, therefore they had not demonstrated special surprised, indicated but actually, three great people only gave 200 Australian coins to take the tip, was is really not naturally. 　　

About two hours later, the James and the party of people return to the hotel, this time already was Wednesday past 2:00 am. It is reported that two years ago in prepared for the Japanese international championship time, James, Antony and the Wedd three people also once in warm-up match Hong Kong every night the music and song, they once two late appeared in intermediate belt Volar as well as celebrity foothold Drag-on-i all night the revelry, and attained seals “the travel fatigue three variants”. Perhaps is precisely therefore, three people appear once again in Macao's time, attracts Hong Kong dog young team next to the skin to press hard on immediately. US team's some once indicated with team reporter that the Macao weather burning hot humidity is very big, the player too will not go out to go sightseeing, did not think that these star player will come out using at night to move. However, compares the travel fatigue three variants, the dog young “waits for” does not have too many harvests on the kopeck body, these two day of kopeck's recreational activity, is feeds the beefsteak greatly under staff's accompaniment between beefsteak hall in a Venice person hotel. Some fans hear a rumor come, the kopeck has not let the fan feel disappointed. After finishing eating the food, the kopeck returns to the hotel rest at once, has not appeared again except the training in public's field of vision, relative “travel fatigue three variants”, the kopeck is described naturally the US team “the life model leader”. 　　

Sina sports own manuscript stated: This work (writing, picture, graph and sound video frequency) supply Sina to use especially, without authorization, any media and individual do not completely or the part reprint.

Well. . . that was "exciting."

At this point in time, I'm unsure of how many readers we have. Probably about two, including those of us who write for this blog. But for you imaginary readers too young to remember, the Dream Team was an awesome thing. I was just old enough then to appreciate the awesomeness of an all-MJ backcourt ripping through the rest of the world and staking dominant claim to playing the best basketball in the world.

Perhaps coincidently and perhaps not, as our international performance has waned so has my interest in the NBA. Where once I was a passionate Lakers fan (bandwagon, I admit), now the Association is just where my favorite college players go to die.

So I've barely been interested in this year's Redeem Team. This morning, I woke up and turned on the Rangers game (I think I'm safe from being a bandwagon fan here), unaware the re-air of the US's domination of China was going on. Suddenly, I flipped over and found LeBron James nuking the giant Chinese front court in a game that appeared to be roughly eleventy billion to negative three.

My thoughts on our Olympic basketball team then became something like this:




These guys seem to be ready to be together as a team ready to squash all comers. No one can expect '92 again, but maybe '96? Maybe? We haven't had the moments of comaraderie the old Dream Team did yet, but this could be something to be excited about and get behind again. Something this child of the 90s hasn't had in international basketball in a long time.


Of course, shortly after I was thinking about that, this whole brothel thing came up. . .


I guess that's comrarderie. Maybe.

I ... don't know how to sing to that.

Michael Phelps won the 400IM on Day One of the XXIXth Olympiad. Yeah, that's right, the Olympics are happening again and Phelps is smashing more world records. Who's surprised?

I was hoping I'd get to recite my favorite quote ("America goes one-two yet again!"), but Lochte fails at life (not really) and got third, letting that bald Hungarian dude improve upon his bronze in 2004.

Whatever, there's still two Americans on the medal stand and Phelps is chatting with Lochte through the entire ceremony, smiling that goofy smile and making me really nervous, being someone who wants things to go exactly right and with the utmost decorum during such important moments as these.

Finally everyone's all settled and Lochte and Phelps get their hands over their hearts and then ... the Star-Spangled Banner is playing, but ... part of the beginning is cut off? And then they add another verse in there? And then right when we're all ready to sing, "...and the hooooooooome of theeeeeeeeee BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!" it CUTS OFF. Phelps laughs a little, but I see that bafflement in your eyes, kid! I see it!

Normally, I'm talking all through the primetime coverage. I say what the commentators say before they say it, I tell whoever's watching with me about Roman Sludnov breaking a minute in the 100 breast before anyone else, I comment on Sasha Artemev's lines before Elfi opens her big mouth, but quoting Elfi from 4 years ago during Hiroyuki Tomita's stunning high bar routine? "I'm speechless." Except back then, it was because she'd never seen anything so good.

Right now, it's because I've never heard anything so ... wrong. It's the Olympics. Those kind of mistakes shouldn't be happening.

So while the rest of the world is marveling over how AMAZING Beijing has done so far, I will continue to point out and tally everything they're doing wrong. I'm also counting how many times Elfi mentions Sasha's "lines," but that's another story for another time.